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[dave.m]

Notes to the milkman.

Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave me another one.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Sorry about yesterday’s note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night’s Coronation Street. If you saw it will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.

Please send me a form for cheap milk for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let the dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don’t leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave any milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

dave

[Floydoid]

I use to have a load of these... 2 which I remember:

'Please leave an extra pint because I am stagnant.'

'Please leave 2 pints of paralysed milk.'

[toulouse]

There are some classic there, aren't there

TTFN

toulouse

[kitz]

 

btw - when was the last time you saw a milkman?
We used to have one at our other house, but when I moved here there wasn't one.

[dave.m]

There are several round the Garstang area. Two different ones deliver in our Park.


dave 

[Floydoid]

I think there are 2 milk delivery companies left round here - they only come round 3 times a week, and then it's mostly the elderly that have their milk delivered.