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Author Topic: Hello Operator  (Read 1739 times)


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Hello Operator
« on: January 28, 2010, 12:09:16 AM »


 Actual call center conversations!

Customer:   'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;
                    can you help?'

Operator:    'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer:   'It's on the door of the business.'
Operator:    'Sir, those are the hours that the business is open.
Samsung Electronics
Caller:        'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:   'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller:        'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I   
                   need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and   
                   telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
                   number for Jack?'
Operator:   'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- ------------ ---
Directory Enquiries
Caller:  'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please.'
Operator:  'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling

is correct?'
Caller:  'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
------------ ------ ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator:  'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to
write the number on.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Tech Support:  'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer:        'OK.'
Tech Support:  'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer:    'No.'
Tech Support:  'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:        'No.'
Tech Support:  'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
Customer:        'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn
my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say
the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect
organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):


Operator:       'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:            'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '
Operator:       'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:            'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
                       went away.'
Operator:       'Went away?'
Caller:            'They disappeared'
Operator:       'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:            'Nothing.'
Operator:       'Nothing??'
Caller:            'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:       'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller:            'How do I tell?'
Operator:       'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller:            'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:       'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:            'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I
Operator:       'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:            'What's a monitor?'
Operator:       'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
                       Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:            'I don't know.'
Operator:       'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
                       the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller:            'Yes, I think so.'
Operator:       'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
                       plugged into the wall.
Caller:            'Yes, it is.'
Operator:       'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
                       there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
                       one? '
Caller:            'No.'
Operator:      'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
                      find the other cable.'
Caller:           'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:      'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
                      the back of your computer..'
Caller:           'I can't reach.'
Operator:      'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:           'No..'
Operator:      'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
                      way over?'
Caller:           'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
                      because it's dark.'
Operator:      'Dark?'
Caller:           'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
                      coming in from the window.'
Operator:      'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:           'I can't.'
Operator:      'No? Why not?'
Caller:           'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:      'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it   
                      licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and   

                      packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller:          'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:     'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it   
                     up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
                     the store you bought it from.'
Caller:          'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:     'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:          'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
I have a set of 8 fixed IP's From my Eclipse isp.
BT ADSL2 (G992.3) line>HG612 set as a Modem, Bridge, WAN not Bound to LAN1 or 2 >Smoothwall (Hardware Firewall and routing) > Ethernet LAN, DMZ,WiFI LAN and Spare LAN .
DSLstats LAN2  linked Ethernet


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Re: Hello Operator
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2010, 07:14:26 AM »



  • Senior Kitizen
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Re: Hello Operator
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2010, 10:08:02 AM »



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Re: Hello Operator
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2010, 10:28:52 AM »



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Re: Hello Operator
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2010, 10:07:31 AM »

Please do not PM me with queries for broadband help as I may not be able to respond.
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