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Author Topic: how to bathe a new kitty  (Read 3183 times)

tuftedduck

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how to bathe a new kitty
« on: November 20, 2009, 07:51:07 AM »

 :D

Cats, like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of odors, from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember, your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.

So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.

Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No, blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom, speed is essential. In one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No, this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat. reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door, put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly, into tub, if possible, Do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.




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« Last Edit: November 20, 2009, 09:02:33 AM by tuftedduck »
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broadstairs

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2009, 08:04:44 AM »

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reminds me of the story told by a friend of mine about how he treated his cat for fleas, he used his porch and found the cat capable of climbing a plate glass door ....   successfully.  :D
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tuftedduck

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2009, 08:21:43 AM »

 :lol:
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toulouse

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2009, 08:38:05 AM »

Hey TD, that is absolutely BRILLIANT, and so very true.
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UncleUB

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2009, 09:04:51 AM »

Quote
13. In about 2 hours it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.

Reminds me of that book I once read...

Revenge of the cat, by ..........Claude Balls
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roseway

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2009, 09:24:53 AM »

Brilliant :lol:
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  Eric

kitz

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2009, 02:24:54 PM »

Hehe... good one TD  :lol:


Especially coming so soon after Zac decided to bath himself in the loo.  - Dont ask me how or why..  I think he was exploring the bathroom not realising that the loo-lid wasnt down.
With him being so tiny he musta slid straight in. 
Straight afterwards he got his first taste of a bath.. or rather sink...  I quickly dumped him in clean water as although the loo was clean, it had that blue stuff in and well I didnt want to take any chances anyhow. 


---------------

I used to bath Chaz - although I loved him to bits one of the main reasons why I didnt get another chinchilla persian is  they do require an awful amount of grooming and keeping clean.  He used to put up with it and would moan pitifully all the way through it.

Here's some pics I thought I'd share...   We'd been decorating and had had Spaghetti Bolognaise for tea. 
Because we were so busy, chaz thought he'd help out by washing the pan in which I'd cooked the bolognaise sauce.  ???

Below that is a pic of him in the bath - you can see he's not impressed.

 




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tuftedduck

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2009, 03:11:49 PM »

 :lol: at that poor cat in the bath.........he did not enjoy that one bit.... :D
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UncleUB

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Re: how to bathe a new kitty
« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2009, 03:15:04 PM »

Poor Chaz,you don't realise how small they are once their fur is flattened.
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