Chat > Jokes n Stuff

Interesting perspective on getting older - 15 more for you to peruse

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broadstairs:
1. If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
2. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
3. I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
4. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
5. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
6. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
10. I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
11. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
12. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
13. Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
14. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing", it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
15. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminium can stuffed with celery?

Stuart

kitz:
 :D

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