From the thread you say you have an Asus RT-AC5300, have you tried the merlin
firmware? It appears to support
fq_codel and so could fix your lag during usage spikes. I have no experience of asus routers or merlin, but SQM in openwrt fixes the exact issue you are experiencing, so if merlins implementation of it is functional it should do the same.
If you have tried this (sorry I didnt read the whole 5 page thread you linked), try reducing the ingress and egress values you give the SQM settings in merlin. I have known the bufferbloat tests on dslreports to show A+ when there was still significant spikes in latency when using full bandwidth of the connection. Try a heavily multistream download (torrent a linux iso) and monitor your ping to a stable server yourself.