The amount of DSL signal does not vary with the amount of TCP/IP traffic that is or isn't being transferred over the link. For ADSL, there'll be a constant stream of ATM cells, with empty "idle" cells if there's nothing to put in them. I think the data also goes through some sort of "scrambler" function to ensure there's never any long sequence of zeroes in the sequence of bits. So the amount of crosstalk will be fairly constant while the other modem is switched on and connected. If the low power mode were used while the modem is idle, that would reduce the level of crosstalk because it saves energy by reducing the transmitted power level, I think BT might have done some trials, referring to it as "cool broadband", but I don't think it's in use, presumably any savings on their electricity bill weren't worth the hassle.
For a past few weeks I've had something which adds an almost constant extra 2 dB of noise, it could be crosstalk, judging from the occasional brief upward spike in the DS SNRM which would correspond to the other modem rebooting or maybe even retraining.