We get these calls quite regular , I have managed to have them on the line for over an hour trying to sort my pc , I tell them that my pc is not in the same room as my telephone and that I will have to write everything down that they want doing in steps ,I tell them I will do a bit of what they want and then come back and write more instructions down , obviously I just put the phone down and continue getting on with what ever I am doing, 10/15 min check they are still there and repetes the posses till finished then tell them I have no Internet , that really gets them cranky.
If I don't feel like playing I tell them I am glad they phoned as I do have a problem with my pc and it's making a whistling sound and I will put the hand set near the pc to see if they can hear it and sort it out , I have an emergency mountain rescue whistle that they get a sharp blast from , they soon put the phone down