Take it as read that ALL consumer equipment is designed on the assumprtion that NO other spectrum user exists ! So Best Modem will be Least Bad - look at the history of TVI.
This isn't to say something can't be done but don't rely on the manufacturers, most of them think the spectrum is empty except for their device.
Cancelling the interference as you are suggesting is possible and indeed is routine for CWFM radars. It will need an automatic amplitude and phase balance to maintain an adequate null but that should be much easier at HF than say 3cm ! The ideal way would be to build a modem with this in mind but it may be simpler to make a "out phasing unit" to feed an out of phase sample into the VDSL and then feed the cleaned up VDSL to the existing modem. 100% screening would be needed and probably it would be useful to enclose the modem in it too, since the process assumes linearity i.e. if you are blasting the modem into cross modulation you can't cure that !
This sounds a useful but lengthy project so I would be inclined to see what the RSGB and possibly the ARRL know about it first.
Alternativly, depending on your VDSL spectrum, notch filters for the particular bands may notch the interference (and some VDSL) but leave sufficient VDSL bandwidth (real bandwidth in Hz ! ) for the reduction in speed to be acceptable.
Roll on FFTP !