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Chat => Jokes n Stuff => Topic started by: UncleUB on April 09, 2011, 08:10:16 AM

Title: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: UncleUB on April 09, 2011, 08:10:16 AM

MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM

A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined
below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'






MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth.!!)



1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance
from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back
page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.



27. Release Hand Brake

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: tuftedduck on April 09, 2011, 08:15:21 AM

 :lol: :lol:

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: UncleUB on April 09, 2011, 08:23:12 AM

I'm waiting for a certain baseball bat wielding French lady to read it  :scare:  :lol:

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: scottiesmum on April 09, 2011, 08:48:11 AM

 :lol:     (It's been added to since I last saw this one   ......  hubby has a print out of it   :-X :-X  )



Just for you Unc    (https://forum.kitz.co.uk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.villagephotos.com%2Fp%2F2005-5%2F1013475%2Fbat.gif&hash=1c08c7d9d1e8ffc4da7df5940764ab079448ef7b)      :P

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: silversurfer44 on April 09, 2011, 09:16:19 AM

 :lol:
I bet there is a couple or more females saying .................... 'that sounds just like me'.

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: roseway on April 09, 2011, 09:37:49 AM

Dear me, there's a few people living dangerously here... ;D

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: jeffbb on April 09, 2011, 04:36:55 PM

Hi
Some people(male) have a death wish :lol:
Regards Jeff

Title: Re: MALE v FEMALE at the ATM
Post by: silversurfer44 on April 09, 2011, 04:48:49 PM

There are still some Males that are Males.  ;D As long as the females can't reach us that is.