Kitz Forum
Computer Software => Windows => Topic started by: oldfogy on June 22, 2006, 02:08:08 PM
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When I got my first PC it came with a 96MB HDD (now being used as a door stop along with the 5.25 inch floppy drive)
and 4 strips of 1MB Ram, Word Perfect and windows 3.1.
Shortly after I upgrading to Windows 97, Office 97Pro, Works v4, various other programs including a audio editing program along with both Adaptec and Nero Burning with a 2 speed CD burner and also Firewall and AV (Norton of course).
Ok, it was not the fastest but it did everything I needed it to do and didn't keep falling over.
All of this on a 96MB HDD.
Now as time goes by with running programs that do the same or similar job,
I need Windows XP with a minimum of 256MB Ram, ?? GB HDD.
And, from time to time we have problems, not to mention the huge number of so called security fix's.
I wonder, if I reverted back to my old programs on my current system and processor if I could fly. :lol:
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My first home PC was built by an acquaintance who was just setting up in business for himself. He was an IT person for Marks & Sparks and previously an electronics techie in the navy.
I specified the main components, he made a few suggestions and delivered it.
As built it had an AMD K6-2 500 processor, a 13.5 GB Fujitsu HD, 128Mb RAM, cheapo sound card, HP CD 9200 writer, an ATI Rage Pro graphics card and a very nice ADI 17" Trinitron screen.
I'm still using it, but the RAM is now 384Mb Crucial 133Mhz, the HD is a Samsung Spinpoint 80Gb, the CD Writer is now an new LG (an unfortunate accident there) and it has also acquired a Network card and a USB2 card.
The ADI screen suffered a failed transformer and I now have an IBM 17" which I was given.
The only failure has been a noisy fan on the CPU heat sink. When I noticed this I went into the local Chinese takeaway and asked for a Lemon Chicken, Egg Fried Rice, Sesame prawn toast starter and a heat sink & fan assembly.
He reached under the counter and produced the very thing. I was flabbergasted, but grateful. I should explain that I know the bloke and know he is deeply into PCs.
The Fujitsu HD went to Tankerton and was fitted into No 1 Daughter's old P2 system. It finally failed about 2 months ago.
I have no current plans to replace this system.
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I couldnt even tell you the specs of my first PC. All I know it was an IBM Aptiva running windows 3.1.
Basically it was a glorified word processer with a few games on - and I outgrew it in about a year or so. (wasnt high enough spec for win 95)
Work also gave me a laptop at about the same time I bought the Aptiva which I quickly had to equate myself with - complete with a USR Sportster modem which would have been around Feb/March 95.
Previous experience with computers had always been *nix systems at work, although this was always from a data processing viewpoint to becoming ICDP (In Charge of Data Processing), and I was always curious when the Boroughs/Phillips/Olivetti engineers used to visit.
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Early 1980?s, friends had purchased the (Acorn) BBC Micro (about ?400). This was very popular along with the BBC series that started the home computing phase in the UK. My finances were a bit limited at that time and the alternatives seemed to be the Commodore 5.
Acorn then brought out a cut down version of the BBC Micro, the Acorn Electron, so I jumped at the opportunity and it was my first computer. No monitor in those days, it was just hooked up to the TV set.
Memories of programming in Basic, oh what fun. No hard disc, everything was saved or loaded by cassette tape. How times have changed.
exo
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Hi exo and welcome :)
>> Early 1980?s
eke.. I was a late adaptor on the home PC front - although I can remember my bro spending hours with a commodore 64 and a text book thingy, spending hours copying code to *make games*.
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Dear me, you youngsters! I built my first computer in the 1970s (it was a soldering iron and wire cutters job). In its basic form it had just 1kB of RAM (yes, that's 1024 bytes) of which half was used for the screen memory, giving a text display of 16 lines by 32 characters. Another 40-odd bytes were used for system purposes, leaving 470 bytes for user programs and data. The only way to get programs in the machine was to type them in machine code, using a hexadecimal keypad.
Despite the primitive hardware, those were probably my happiest computing days.
Eric
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Hi,
That one beats me Eric. I was feeling bad until I read yours. After getting bored with all the different function keys on My Sinclair spectrum and spending ages with the tape recorder to load a program only for it to fail in the last few seconds, I moved onto an Amstrad 8086 processor with 40 MB hard drive, can't remember the ram but it had Dos 3.3 and Microsoft works and 712 kb floppy drive.
Thought it was the "bees knees" but it taught me a lot. Have to say that the way computing is today I would happily never go back to those days.
ellington
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Being a younger person, i never had a personal computer until 1999. Dell Dimension P90, with 8Mb RAM and 540Mb HDD, Win95osr2. I have come along way since, getting better PC in 2000 and since then i have built and upgraded my own home built ones. The Dell survived until mid 2001 doing great guns, when a freak accident destroyed the PSU. It wasnt worth replacing, given the full extent of the damage was unknown.
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It's a bit frightening, isn't it? Just a few years ago that P90 would have been the bees knees, but a couple of years later it wasn't worth repairing and now it sounds like something that was probably around when Noah was a lad.
Eric
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my first pc was a packard bell windows 95 haha, but it was useful cos it got me interested in it as a career
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first pc was, rubber keyed spectrum 48k, magic for typing on :lol: >:D
then speccy 128k+ with built in tape deck w00t, then umm commodore 64, then amiga 500, bought a half meg upgrade of ram for the amiga, the ram was the size of a house, then onto another amiga 500 after i sold the first one, then onto intel 66mhz pc, then a 133mhz one, then a jump from that to a 2600 amd with 6800gt, then a amd 64 2800 with another 6800gt, and finally onto my amd 4800 x2 with sli 7800gtx with all teh other goodies.
my, how over the space of a few years pc's have become uber powerful compared to the year 2000.
the specs of my latest baby are, as mentioned above amd 4800 x2, 2 gig ram sli 7800gtxs 256mb versions, ageia physics card, x-fi sound card, and umm an uber load of harddrives for all my pr0n, well i lie about the pr0n, but just change pr0n for crap and you will roughly get what i have on my drives, nearly 18 months old and planning on another pc purchase just after crimbo time when amd come out with there new cpu's, whichever is better at the time, amd or intel, then i will go for whichever one.
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>>> my, how over the space of a few years pc's have become uber powerful compared to the year 2000
Indeed.. funny enough I was talking about something similar last week.
One of the things mentioned though, was I dont think Ive ever seen an increase in specs as fast as what occured in about 2001.
For a long time (well ok several months/year), things seemed to stay pretty static.. up until the processors reached just over 700 Mhz at least.. Then they seemed to crash through the 1Ghz barrier and evey other week the spec seemed to go up and up and up.
In the very late 90s and early 00's it seemed like if you didnt buy/build/respec every 18-24 months then your PC was *old hat*.
My last PC was a P4 3Ghz which I bought 2.5 years ago (it was cheaper to buy than build the spec). Yet 2.5 yrs on its still a pretty good spec and more than powerful enough for what I need.
I think the only thing Ive added was another 250GB drive (network storage).
Its certainly the longest Ive ever had a PC as *the main*, but its still got everything else pretty bang up to date.
I think the graphics card is possibly the thing thats dated the most.. but its a radeon 9800 xxl which was practically the dogs doodahs back then.. its still pretty respectable considering I aint a gamer.
Maybe its me that I dont care as much now about keeping up with the latest and greatest these days..
or probably that I use lappies more. ?
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Yea, I hear ya, around 200-2002 as you say every other week there was a new speed of cpu coming out, it was crazy times, and still is to a certain extent.
Your ati 9800, a couple years ago they were teh bomb, I never had one myself, i had its weak competitor, the fx5900ultra, I went threw 3 of them before I got my first 6800gt, and I would never ever recommend a fx5900 to anyone, those things just loved to die, and the jump in power from the 5900ultra to the 6800gt was just too much to take in, but the 9800 was the king of its day and nothing can take that away from it, if you have the AIW type of 9800 then you still have a good card, not soo much for gaming, but the all in wonders were leet, tv tuners etc loads of connections, I always did fancy a AIW, but I bought a stupid hauppage usb 2 digital tv tuner cuz I ran out of pci ports for an internal model, only to find out that I could of bought a freeview tv set top box and got better overall quality and hooked it upto my pc via video in input, as I can get freeview on my pc with an indoor aerial, once i knew that i was uber peed, as i first thought i needed outdoor aerial, so i then bought freeview boxes for all the bedrooms and bought small but hi gain aerials that get a real good signal for the size of em. so basically, i didnt need to shell out a 100 squid for a 3-4 month old usb 2 tv tuner that i never ever use :(
we live and learn the hardway, but i agree that your 9800 was a magic card, and as mentioned above, if it is of the aiw type, then it is still a decent card, as it will last for years doing normal graphics and tv tuner stuff if capable.
never had a lappy tho, but seriously looking at the mac pro, all intel with ati x1600 vid card, capable of installing windows onto it since its all intel inside, really am thinking bout getting one of them, but I have no real need for a laptop, the only kind i would maybe buy is a desktop replacement, with anything from a 24-30 inch screen, but I dunno, i like to upgrade and OC, and your kinda limited with doing things to a lappy, but they now have sli in lappys so they are becoming real powerful.
This was my pc before the one I have now, it was an Alienware aurora 7500 with amd 4400 sli 78s and audigy 2zs, i took it apart and took some pics while i was putting it together and seeing once i added more fan wires if everything was working, the wires look messy in the pic, but that was just to see if everything worked as expected, they were tidied up a day or 2 after that pics.
http://www.guru3d.com/article/readersrig/311/
I still have the same case, but everything inside it now is diferent to the specs i list on the website, the specs are the ones i listed earlier in another post, and its all purrty looking compared to those pics u see.
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>> if you have the AIW type of 9800
Not sure if its AIW - its the 9800XT (http://www.ati.com/products/radeon9800/radeon9800pro/compare.html).
It does have DVI cause I run it dual monitor and the iiyama is DVI where the other is normal. Yeah I think it does do all the TV stuff.. must do since I have a remote but for it, but Ive never used it.
Problem with it is I burnt the first one out within about 6 months, but it was replaced under warranty. It still had a horrible habit of overheating.
mr_chris got me some stonking graphics cooler thingy and fitted that on it for me.
(https://forum.kitz.co.uk/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kitz.co.uk%2Ftemp%2FzalmanRadeon9800XT.jpg&hash=93f454c7a86789b67321f2025def758a22937e04)
Yeah I hear what youre saying - cant mess with lappies much, but they are a lot more powerful these days - tend to work off this one more and more.. although I need a bit more RAM - cause I find 512MB struggles if Im using dreamweaver and photoshop.
Got 1GB due soon.
OMG... look at that machine of yours... its purrrrrrrrrrple... its friggin purple!!!.
drool... droooooooooooool :-*
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I looking at your 9800, to be honest, I am not sure if its an AIW, as there is no tv tuner built on the card and no tv co-ax in, i could be wrong but since you have a remote for it I really dunno what to think ?
The aiw's i have seen have a huge metal box where the blue vga output is, just behind that is, the huge metal box is built onto the circuit board, but since you have remote, i am stumped what to think, so i cant say it is or it isnt an aiw.
BTW meh lubs teh zalman, that puppy will keep your 9800 real cool, and they look the sweetess:) every video card should come with a zalman by default if you ask me, they do the job sooooo much better than normal stock coolers.
But, your 9800 does indeedy look nice ;)
As for the purple, well i had a choice of green, blue red black or purple, i chose purple with terra green lights, and it night it does look pretty cool, but am looking for something new now, thing is huge and kinda is tooooo big for my needs or maybe not big but looks out of place, I would like a silver all metal case that would look good basically anywhere and wont draw attention to its self, like this thing does.
EDIT:
I looked at your link, and it does indeed say tv as an ouput for your card, so it may very well be that its an aiw, just in that pic i couldnt see any tv output, probably the angle that the pic was taking.....
Nice card nonetheless, tho, i always wanted one of them, but the pro version back when i had my fx59s, but never got round to getting one, mainly due to the fact that i am more a nskidia man than anything else, but that wouldnt stop me buying ati if when i went to get a new vid card and ati was the best at the time, it just so happened that the majority of times i buy vid cards, nvidia is always the best one to pick, even if it is only for that week that i buy the card, then it gets trounced by ati and i kick myslef for not waiting 1 week :)
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hmmm tbh Im not sure what it is.. 9800XXL is all I seem to be able to find out for sure.
It came as part of one of the *Aldi* specials. At the time I was looking to build a new PC.. but that offer came out and I priced up the parts on the likes of Scan,dabs etc to get a similar spec and you were talking >?1000.
Therefore it made sense to buy it.
Since Ive bought it though - its not like *mine* and I never play with the insides these days like I used to when I built... I dont get same kick anymore. Therefore my knowledge of PC hardware is now out of date.
Specs of the machine are here http://www.kitz.co.uk/temp/medionPC.swf
(wont open in IE but will in FF).
Yes the machine will take co-ax but not on the graphics card, but from underneath from a PCI slot so it cant be AIW.
From the drop down menu on the left you can see the graphic specs.. and if you go to SCART - you see a pic of the back of the machine.
I think it was the connect XL stuff that was the icing on the cake for me - at the time there was nothing else out there like that.
I think my outlook is a bit different now perhaps, and I dont mess with hardware no-more :/ ....... and all that machine is doing atm is acting as a glorified web/ftp and file server. - hence why Im wanting one of these (http://forum.kitz.co.uk/index.php?topic=148.0).
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>> As for the purple
Purple is cool :D
(waits for mr_astral to say something)
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Yea, i agree, it doesnt look like a aiw, but who cares, the card itself was a monster in its day and still to this day people still go on about them as probably the best video card of there generation and also the biggest jump in speed from the previous generation, which we will probably never see again, such jumps in speed will probably not happen like they did back then, we are more now on a small incremental jump than a huge leap that the ati 9800 was back then compared to its previous gen of cards.
BTW, buffalotech make decent kit, me personally, i dont think i would have use for one of those, external storage, print and webserver, seems pretty cool to me tho ;)
E.S.
btw, your pc link, it doesnt open in firefox with me, but opens in IE, go figure :D medion were pumping out some magic pc's for cheap'ish a few years back, some of there pc's were really fully loaded and for the price they were a steal, and they had decent stuff in them also, none of the proprietry crap like no name motherboards etc, i bought one of there tft monitors, sadly it died, so i got a newer replacement and i tried to wash it one day to get rid of the smoke off of it, and a tiny bit of water leaked in behind the screen, it still worked but it bugged me having a weird watermark inside the monitor, so i took it apart and tried to clean it, BAD MOVE, no need to explain what happened next :D
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I think Kitz's 9800XT is some kind of OEM model made specifically for her PC, the TV outputs and stuff are on a separate plug-in module.
There's a great chart here (http://www.tomshardware.co.uk/graphics/charts.html) which shows all current video cards against each other when tested with a few different games on different quality settings. Useful if anyone's thinking of buying a video card
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That chart you link to has been debunked as totally wrong, when comparing certain cards, sometimes the scores are totally inaccurate, there a big piece about it at www.hardforum.com
I also tend to agree that its borked, as it says my sli 7800gtxs get beat by a non sli 7800gtx ? how can 1 beat 2 of the same kind of vid card ???
There is a magic comparison websiet for vid cards out there, but i forgot the url, i mean this other chart is spot on and compares practically all video cards, and it does a hell of a better job at it than toms one does.....
If i can remember the link i will link you to it, but now i gotta go hunting for it :)
gpu review is the site
http://www.gpureview.com/
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OK, so I didn't look at it properly :(
/me considers self duly chastised :P
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Na dude, I never meant it like that ;) i was just saying, cuz alot of ppl got confused with that toms chart, but i never never meant to come across like that..
i am sorry if thats how it looked
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Nah, don't worry about it, I was trying to be funny!
It takes waay more than that to offend me ;) I'm glad you pointed it out actually, and upon looking it doesn't really make much sense in parts, does it.
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Do you think mine takes the prize for most unusual? The first 'computer' I used at home was work related (I was with BT at the time) and it was the Tonto. It crashed a lot more than it worked and had word processing plus a spreadsheet on it. I later upgraded it to a a colour monitor with a non-standard floppy disk reader.
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/freshwater/tonto.htm
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At the heart of Tonto is an advanced microprocessor, the Motorola MC68008, running at 7.5 Mhz
ahahahahaaaaaaaaaa, Nice.
I think I have a digital watch that runs faster :)
I said it before and I say it again, its amazing how fast computers run nowadays compared to their predecessors and also how slow a pc could run, 7.5mhz w00t and I bet that thing was a beast when it came out....
Thats what I call a cool first PC ;)
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My first PC was an IBM 286 with 640 KB of RAM, internal 5.25" floppy drive, external 3" floppy drive, 100 MB H/D, running ms-dos 6.0 with works version 3 (I think).
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My 1st computer was a Sinclair Spectrum purchased direct from Sinclair as they werent in the shops at the time (I still have it) I later fitted more RAM to it to bring it up to 48k, WOW!!
Next I had a BBC micro model B with a CUB colour monitor, bigger WOW!
I then did some growing up and discovered girls, beer and cars so computers were put on the back burner.
Got back into computers in the mid 90s with a 486 DX4/100, 16MB RAM, 1GB hdd, running Win95 and playing Doom and Duke Nuke 'Em, internet was via a USRobotics sportster winmodem and ISP was Compuserve; whatever happened to Compuserve BTW?
Next one was a Pentium 200Mhz MMX, 64MB RAM, 4GB hdd, running win95 then 98se, this PC has only recently left my pocession, was given free to a senior citizen who wanted to do some word processing.
Next one was based around a Duron 800Mhz CPU, 20GB hdd, 128MB RAM, 64MB graphics running win98se, I still have it, it is now my sons PC, it is a dual boot system 98 & XP Home with 512MB RAM. wireless internet connection. Plays his games just great, and is a more than capable second PC.
My current creation, built from some salvaged bits from a defunct Dell gx270 (swollen capacitors being the usual issue with them) and some purchased
Intel 2.4Ghz Celeron socket 478 (salvaged)
Asus P4P800se board
1.25GB RAM (256MB salvaged)
80GB IDE hdd (salvaged)
there was a 250GB SATA drive too, but that caught fire!!!
128MB graphics card
XP Pro
The dell was acquired, fell over a box at work and had to move it for health and safety reasons ;)
Ive never purchased a complete PC from a shop or elsewhere, all have been self builds, apart from the spectrum and BBC they were purchased for me, my pittiful amount of pocket money wouldnt stretch that far, lol :)
I used to go to computer fairs a lot
Jack
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I have never purchased a PC from a shop either... preferring to go along a similar route to Jack (what I call the Basset's Allsorts range). After the 286 I had a Cyrix 266 system with windows 95, then an AMD K6-2 (one of my all time favourite processors) with 98se, followed by a 1 GHz Athlon with XP. My current PC (cobbled together from random bits) is the 4th system I've had since the 286, the spec is as follows:
AMD Athlon XP 2400, 2 GHz
Motherboard: FIC AM39L
DDRAM 512 MB
C Drive: Samsung 20 GB
D: Drive: Maxtor 80 GB
E: Drive: Lite-on LTR-24102B CD-rewriter
F: Drive: Atapi Combo DVD-ROM/CD-rewriter
Radeon 7200, 64 Mb graphics
SoundBlaster Live! 5.1
O/S Windows XP-SP2
I also pride myself that most of my software over the years has come from 'Hookey Street' - but that is entirely another story in itself.
Now if we had a topic about the first computer we actually used (as opposed to owned)... I can go right back almost to Noah's Ark... but that is a topic for another day.
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Recently I purchased my first "mass produced" type PC, from the Dell outlet. A few years ago you could build your own relatively cheap, but now there is no economy in it whatsoever. If you want something clearly customised than its all well and good, but really for a general PC, other than the enjoyment etc there seems little point.
My PC (w/ keyboard, mouse, speakers) cost £400, Intel Core 2 Duo, 2GB RAM, 2x 160GB SATA drives, SATA DVD-RW, SATA CD-RW/DVD, Vista home premium, 256MB 7900GS graphics, i am pleased enough with it :)
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My first and only pc was and is, this one! Toshiba Equium lappy..40gb h/d...512ram running xphome SP2.I bought it at xmas /05 to help keep me out of the pub!(didn't work) ::)
I had never even touched a computer before I bought this one, so the learning curve was very steep and very frustrating.Fortunately,I am was of those people who doesn't give up easily (others describe me differently) so I persevered until I slowy became at least 'proficient'.
Many of the people who have got me to the standard I've now reached are here.Sim/Mike/Stan and of course kitz plus several others who all know who they are.They also know how grateful I am for their patience and help! :)
ratae
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Were all newbies at one point and the learning curve can be steep. Credit to those who persevere through the learning process.
>> to help keep me out of the pub!(didn't work)
combination of alcohol and on-line isn't always a good idea..... Not that I'd know mind you ;)
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My first home PC was a Sinclair ZX81 with just 1Kb of RAM (though I did purchase the optional extra 8Kb RAM pack but if this wobbled when you were working you lost connection and had to start everything up again). Everything seemed so technologically advanced and fast when I got and Amstrad 464 and it had colour pictures and its own built-in tape recorder/player for saving and loading programs!
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That reminds me of when I bought my first calculator - it was a Sinclair Cambridge Memory. It was 1974 and cost me £17.99, which was a fiver more than the standard model which had no memory function.
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My first PC was and still is my only PC
It is a PB Imedia 3055 which I bought when frog marched to PC (the Sniffy Shop) by my daughter and niece.
That was on a Bank Holiday in May 2004.
They took me home and after a short session of connecting wires they got it going and gave me a demo on what to do. :o
"What to do", well I ask you, it took me two hours to find out how to shut it down. Who would think of pressing a 'Start' button to Stop something. :no:
After spending three years browsing all the computer help sites that I could, I am now at the competent stage whereby I can actually switch it on in the morning without having to refer to the manual or my notes any more.
Good init? 8)
dave
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Was it like this for you Dave?
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on “START”………….
:lol:
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:lol:
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Dave that was an oldie but goodie... as is these PC setup documents:
Congratulations! You have purchased an Anthrax 2000 Multimedia Personal Computer with Digital Doo-Dah Enhancer. It will give many years of faithful service, if you ever get it up and running. Also included with your PC is a special bonus pack of free pre-installed software:- 'Lawn Mowing Planner', 'Blank Screen Saver', 'East Africa Route Finder' and 'X15 Submarine Mechanic' valued at over a fiver, which will provide hours of pointless diversion whilst using up most of your computer’s spare memory. You are now ready to begin the installation so turn the page and lets get started!
<new page>
Getting Ready: Congratulations, you have successfully turned the page which means you have a high enough IQ to realize things don't look too good. If your delicate PC has arrived in a damaged box, possibly from miss-handling or being dropped, it will be doubtful that the box will be of any use and can be thrown away.
Important meaningless note: The Anthrax 2000 is configured to use the 80386, Z80 and ARMITAGE SHANKS processors running at 2,472 hertz on variable speed spin cycle. Check your electrical installation and insurance policies before proceeding. Do not tumble dry. To prevent internal heat build up, select a cool, dry environment for your computer. The bottom shelf of a refrigerator is ideal. Unpack the box and examine its contents. (WARNING: Do not open the box if contents are missing or faulty as this will invalidate your warranty. Return all missing contents in their original packaging with a note explaining where they have gone and a replacement will be sent within twelve working months.) Also, only open the box if you intend to use your PC as this will bind you to the terms and conditions set out in the manual, which will be sent to you when it has been written. The contents of the box (if you have the deluxe model) should include some of the following: Monitor with mysterious De Gauss button; keyboard with 2½ inches of flex; computer unit; miscellaneous wires and cables not necessarily designed for this model; 2,000 page 'Owners Manual' of which 1,987 pages are in 26 different languages; 'Short Guide to the Owners Manual'; 'Quick Start Guide' to the 'Short Guide to the Owners Manual'; 'Laminated Super-Kwik Set-Up Guide for People Who Are Exceptionally Impatient or Stupid'; 1,167 pages of warranties, vouchers, notices in Spanish and other loose pieces of paper; 292 cubic feet of cardboard and polystyrene packing material.
All our PC's are subjected to a rigorous 24 hour 'Burn In - Burn Out' test. Please wipe off any soot from the case before using.
Something They Didn't Tell You When You Ordered: Because of the additional power hungry needs of the Computer like switching it on, you will need to acquire an Anthrax 2000 auxiliary hardware upgrade pack, a 900 volt memory capacitor for the auxiliary hardware pack, a 50 megahertz oscillator for the memory capacitor, 64 Gigabytes of additional memory for the oscillator and a small electrical substation.
Setting Up: You are now ready to set up your PC. If you have not yet acquired a degree in Electrical engineering, now is the time to do so. Connect the monitor cable (A) to the portside outlet unit (D); attach power offload unit sub-orbiter (Xii) to the co-axial AC/DC servo channel (G); plug the three-pin mouse cable into the keyboard housing unit (make an extra hole if necessary); connect modem (B2) to offside parallel audio/video lineout jack. Alternatively, plug the cables into the most likely looking holes, switch on and see what happens. Additional meaningless note: The wires in the ampule modulator unit are marked as follows: blue = neutral or live; yellow = live or blue; blue and live = neutral and green; black = instant death. Plug in, switch on, and retire to a safe distance. If after plugging in and switching on your PC nothing happens, the items sent to you may have been mislabelled. Please try plugging in the box. Should your computer appear to be working, please contact us immediately as we may need to employ you.
Now its time to install your Microsofarsogood software. Insert Disc A (marked 'Disc D' or 'Disc G') into Drive Slot B and type 'Setup' and press Return. If your keyboard does not have a return key, simply press the small spring lever where the Return button should be and wait. After installation, you will be asked to enter your License Verification Number. Your License Verification Number can be found by entering your Certified User Number, which can be found by entering your License Verification Number. If you are unable to find your License Verification or Certified User numbers, call the Software Support Line for assistance. (Please have your License Verification and Certified User numbers handy as the support staff cannot otherwise assist you.)
If you have not already lost faith, please insert Installation Diskette 1 in Drive Slot 2 (or vice versa) and follow the instructions on your screen. (Note: owing to software modifications, some instructions will appear in Romanian). At each prompt, select an option most suitable for the installation. As a rule of thumb and general to most installations, the Exit option is always a good bet. If the installation fails with an error message '## Not enough disk space ##' then you should have bought a bigger disk. If the installation is successful, insert Diskette 2, marked 'Diskette 1', and repeat the previous steps with each of the 187 other disks. Should you be unfortunate enough to receive an error message that says: Invalid file path. Abort or Continue? Be warned , Selecting 'Continue' may result in irreversible drive damage and loss of memory. On the other hand, selecting 'Abort' may result in irreversible drive damage and loss of memory. Please select the most appropriate option. When installation is complete, make sure your computer is plugged into the phone socket, type in your Name, Address and Credit Card details and press 'SEND'. This will automatically register you for our free software prize, 'Blank Screensaver IV: Night Time in Deep Space', and allow us to pass your name to lots and lots of computer magazines, online services and other commercial enterprises, who will be getting in touch shortly. If you should see numerous miscellaneous debits on your credit card, this is perfectly normal as it verifies that your modem is working correctly. Please be sure to fill in you warranty registration form and send it to us immediately. Failure to do this will result in us not receiving it.
You are now ready to use your computer. Here are some simple exercises to get you off to a flying start:
Writing a letter: Type 'Dear' and follow it with the name of someone you know. Write a few lines about yourself, and then write 'Sincerely yours' followed by your own name. Print it off on your new printer that you are about to order from us and Voila!
Saving a file: To save your letter, select File Menu. Choose 'Save As', Choose 'Recycle Bin' as the location and press 'OK'. Alternatively, write it in long-hand on a sheet of paper and place it in a drawer.
Advice on using the Spreadsheet Facility: Don't!
Troubleshooting Section: You will have many, many problems through the life of your computer. These are quite normal and commonplace so don't send anything back to us.
Here are a few problems you may encounter and their solutions:
Problem: My computer won't turn on
Solution/Advice: This is perfectly normal
Problem: My keyboard doesn't seem to have any keys.
Solution/Advice: Turn the keyboard the right way up.
Problem: My foot pedal wont work
Solution/Advice: Try using it on the mouse mat instead
Problem: My CD Rom won't work.
Solution/Advice: This is not a CD-ROM, it's a coffee holder.
Problem: I have made a mistake in the word processor. How do I change it?
Solution/Advice: Tipp-Ex over the mistake and type it in correctly.
Problem: I keep getting a message saying 'General Protection Fault'
Solution/Advice: This is probably because you are trying to use the computer. Switch the computer to OFF mode and any messages will disappear.
Problem: What exactly will my warranty cover?
Solution/Advice: Its big enough to cover your mouse mat
Problem: My PC is a useless piece of junk
Solution/Advice: You need to upgrade to the Anthrax 3000 turbo model with exclusive limited ability, or trade your PC in for our pen and paper set. **
** Due to problems with some of our pens, the pen and paper set has been discontinued.
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Ah yes, the oldies are the best.
My first PC (that I used at home for work stuff) was a TONTO. I'm willing to bet money that I'm the only one here that's used one of them.
Any takers?
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Pah! Modern stuff. My first computer was a Tangerine Microtan. I had to build it myself the hard way, with a soldering iron and wireclippers. It had a 6502 processor running at 0.5 MHz, and 1024 bytes of memory, of which half was used for the 16 x 32 character display. 40-odd bytes were used by the 'operating system', leaving 470-odd bytes for user programs. Amazingly, someone wrote a fully functional version of Space Invaders for this machine.
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Was it powered by a rubber band Eric?
(I used to listen to radio on a crystal set - does that count?)
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Ah yes, the oldies are the best.
My first PC (that I used at home for work stuff) was a TONTO. I'm willing to bet money that I'm the only one here that's used one of them.
Any takers?
Never heard of them. I can go as far back as using PDP11 computers at university, which had to be programmed in assembler on punched cards.
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>>> Was it powered by a rubber band Eric?
No, rubber bands hadn't been invented.
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Ah yes, the oldies are the best.
My first PC (that I used at home for work stuff) was a TONTO. I'm willing to bet money that I'm the only one here that's used one of them.
Any takers?
Never heard of them. I can go as far back as using PDP11 computers at university, which had to be programmed in assembler on punched cards.
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/freshwater/tonto.htm
http://www.nvg.ntnu.no/sinclair/computers/clones/opd.htm
http://www.whom.co.uk/grundig/opd.htm
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:-X
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Toshiba Equium lappy.. I bought it to help keep me out of the pub!(didn't work) ::)
Youve got the only laptop in the world fitted with a drip tray and beer mat !!!
Rumour has it, youve recorded yourself ordering a round using Audacity and you play it back to the bar staff when you too pi**ed to be coherent anymore :D
I reckon it makes you drink more.... where can I get one?
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Hi,My first PC in 1995 was by Dan technology(any one rembember them) Pentium 75,1mb graphics 8 mb ram (It was £220 to get another 8mb ram!!!) And Windows 95.
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Yes, we had a Dan Technology PC... dont know the spec, i was too young and unfamiliar to know. It had Windows 3.1 and DOS anyhow.
Believe it or not, the 5 pin DAN Tech keyboard are still used to this day in the house on a modern PC (with a PS/2 adapter) and I personally still use the Dan Tech "active 75" stereo speakers. How old must those be now? perhaps 12 to 15 years old :D