One of the lines (youve lost a plate of salmon) made me recall an incident with my old Chaz cat who frequently would bring home "food" for me. I've had mice, birds, several koi and large shubunkins & ornamental goldfish laid out next to the fridge for me. There would never be a mark on them and he never mauled or ate them himself. There were also the occasional sunday dinner remains he would find some where such as large portions of chicken or remains of a joint of beef.... but he really excelled the time he brought home a whole side of smoked salmon. It was a wee bit tatty and covered in bits of soil from being dragged home and through the cat flap... but where on earth he got it from I have no idea other than to say iirc it was an early afternoon theft.
