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[renluop]

I liked this. I hope you do too.

Election fever is a virulent but ultimately harmless condition currently afflicting the nation.

Here is a Q&A to help members of the public recognise the symptoms and take steps to protect themselves at the height of the polling season, the period known as the general infection.

How serious is it?

Experts are divided about this. Former members of parliament claim that after the infection sufferers will never be the same again, but the vast majority of people make a full recovery and report that nothing at all has changed.

Can it be good for me?

Remarkably, some people still cling to the belief that the general infection has beneficial effects, including lower taxes, better public services, more jobs, a fairer society, a smaller public sector, more cash in people�€™s pockets and a brighter future. The evidence for these claims is weak.

What are the symptoms?

Common symptoms include a tendency to talk nonsense, inability to distinguish opinion and prejudice from fact, and refusal to see more than one side of an argument. Some sufferers become delusional and believe everything they say, while others become so credulous that they believe anything they hear. Other symptoms are boredom, apathy and bouts of irritability.

Does it affect everyone in the same way?

No. Some people get it more badly than others. They include journalists, the professional classes, trade unionists, self-styled political activists, college lecturers and anyone who spends too long on Twitter.

How can I tell if I�€™ve got it?

Watch out for any of the following tell-tale signs:

    You suddenly think people you profoundly disagree with or dislike �€œtalk a lot of sense�€�
    You believe that everything would be fine if there were no health tourists, millionaires, migrant workers or corporate tax evaders
    You think there should be a national debate about everything
    You find yourself worrying about whether or not proposals have been fully costed
    You think the Greens and Clwyd Cymru have a realistic chance of forming a majority.

How can I avoid getting it?

The only way to avoid infection completely is to move to a country that has escaped the spread of democracy. There are several to choose from including Syria, Iraq, Russia and several African states, where it has been almost completely eradicated. These are listed in our handy guide to �€œlow-risk emigration destinations�€�, brought to you with the generous support of UKIP.

Alternatively, pull the duvet over your head and set your alarm for 8 May.

[AArdvark]

Love it.
A little bit underplayed in my book.   

Especially liked the 'low-risk emigration destinations, brought to you with the generous support of UKIP.'
 

[kitz]

The only way to avoid infection completely is to move to a country that has escaped the spread of democracy.

   Yep thats one way


Srsly though, this year I am so switched off by it all.  I cant recall ever receiving so much 'junk mail' much of it personally addressed letters and not just the flyer type.   I was chatting to someone the other day and I dont think theres one party who I agree with all their policies, many of which seem to be just mouth pieces to attract a certain type of demographic status.  Some of the policies seem needless IMHO,  I would think employment is more important than free childcare for all, or 4 weeks paternity leave.    I wish I could pick bits and pieces from each party.  I've voted in the past, but this year I think I may not bother

[renluop]

Not switched off totally here, even though New Forest West is True-Blue with Desmond Swayne its candidate.
Oh, if only we had a more proportional system.

[guest]

Our constituency isn't generally worth voting in - been tory for decades - but this year the tories are having to actually knock on doors as the deeply dubious* Stephen Dorrell has finally retired. Its rather amusing as a lot of people around here are kippers & have been taking the opportunity to get some payback for insults received from tories over the years

The constituency will end up blue tory or purple raving loony tory - not much of a difference between them anyway....

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Dorrell#Resignation_call_over_conflict_of_interest - barely scratches the surface IMHO.